A Comment on an Instagram Post led to an Entire Podcast Conversation about Trauma & Creativity Recovery

When the 'muse of realization', along with the defeatedness of the trauma-brain and the actual trauma itself are present, what's a creative to do?

Recently, Kris Camealy, founder and director of Refine {the retreat}, posted a simple question to her Instagram page, ‘What are you thinking about today?’ after presenting a quote by Wendell Berry, the very thing she had on her mind. I responded to the question, inspired by the quote. One thing led to another and weeks later, we were hashing out my reply on her podcast, Refine{d}: the podcast.

The quote by Mr. Berry:

There are, it seems, two muses: the Muse of Inspiration, who gives us inarticulate visions and desires, and the Muse of Realization, who returns again and again to say "It is yet more difficult than you thought." This is the muse of form. It may be then that form serves us best when it works as an obstruction, to baffle us and deflect our intended course. It may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work and when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings.”

My response that inspired our one hour long podcast discussion (emojis and all):

“I would be very curious to hear others speak on maintaining their creative practice while living in trauma/PTSD. That’s me. So already there is the ‘muse of realization’ but then add to that the defeatedness of the trauma-brain and what does that equal? 🤔 I suppose that is what is on my mind, a lot lately, in fact. I feel like God may be telling me that I should work this out and be a contributor to this topic but bam- there’s that muse of realization and double bam- there’s that trauma brain. 😜
Grateful for your posts ❤️”

To add to my comment, another commenter expressed her gratitude for posting my response, as it also resonated with her. What I have come to learn in this season of ‘living in trauma/PTSD’ is that there are more of us struggling creatives wrestling with the same question than we could ever imagine. And I’m only speaking from those I’ve come across. How many more are there out there?

So, with all of these things working against us, ‘the muse of realization’, the defeatedness of the trauma-brain, and the actual trauma or trauma recovery journey, what’s a creative to do?

Kris was gracious enough to hold space for this topic on her podcast. The Refine{d}: the podcast includes “conversations around art and faith and the refining experience of engaging with God and our art and each other for the sake of holiness and wholeness” as Kris introduces at the beginning of each episode. I hope you’ll take a listen. We cover some pretty meaty topics, encouragement and practical advice for creatives. I’d like to add, because I can here, that while I was speaking with Kris, my neighbor’s lawn people were trimming hedges next door. The microphone picked that up. Tis life.

I have a lot more to say on this topic: trauma & creativity. As I mention in the podcast interview, I feel like I’m writing a book with all of the info I’ve gathered and learned, so it will be presented in time. Most of it was the foundation for starting this Substack.

Click on the photo below to be taken to the podcast. Thanks for listening!