If not you, then who?

therapy notes in a (voiceover) poem; clarity; and being in our holy place

another clarity poem showing up in my continuous line self-portrait in my sacred art journal this week

therapy notes: 26 Sept. 2024 (quick-poem style)

My poems are tidy but my thoughts aren’t;

Tell me, where does the line get drawn?

I’ve kept control for so long,

I’ve perfected the fawn.

That place where my inner chaos meets my art -

my words, my poems, my views,

that’s where authenticity flows,

and unleashes the Divine Muse.

Control’s been a friend for so long,

It’s hard to abandon her now,

But this lion raging inside me,

is gonna have to get let out.

I’ve inched the gates open,

caught glimpses of its power,

but too often fear ends up driving

and tries to steal, kill, and devour.

Oh, how I long for those sacred moments of clarity,

Crashing in, like a tidal wave,

Clearing the path for the work of the Holy Ghost,

Who am I to get in its way?

If “Obedience is the atmosphere of

God’s revealings”¹, then let me hunker down,

Provide discernment where you want me, Lord,

As Heaven awaits with my crown.

And this in-between, where I struggle,

With messy thoughts and logic-mind,

Let me embrace the holy work upon them,

And for your treasures, seek and find.

Tame the lion, I want not to -

What’s on the other side if I do?

Comfort and mediocracy aren’t

image-bearing words that reflect you.

I keep collecting all these pieces,

carrying them with me everywhere I go,

yet, as soon as two come together,

larger the puzzle seems to grow.

“Get out of your comfort zone;”

“We are all carrying loads too heavy;”

that sign in the lobby:

“The world needs who you were made to be;”

at the raunchy, raw poetry reading

untethered artists were real and true;

the giant millipede we saved in the hotel;

the drunk man said, “If not you, then who?”

“If not you, then who.”

Those words that night have sung

a melody over my messy thoughts

and an unleashing has begun.

Something else I keep hearing,

speaking over the chaos within me,

in a voice mighty as the lion,

“You are right where you are supposed to be.”

---

The millipede and drunk man’s comment made it into an entry in my wabi sabi paper bag journal I’ve been keeping for #the21dayproject hosted by

Lindsay Jean Thomson

as an off-season offering of

#The100DayProject Newsletter

My theme is “The Art of Noticing” and it has certainly added beauty to all of the ‘collecting’ I’ve been doing lately. You can find the rest of my entries on Instagram.

Thanks for reading!

---

1. quote by Lilias Trotter