"I'm doing a great work and can't come down."
on examining the stewardship of our time, days, and distractions, and where I'm spending my time lately - hint, it's a new creative community!
I’ve been a little quiet on my social platforms and for good reason. I’ve had my head down in my calling; more on that in a minute. As much as I have enjoyed the fresh, life-giving breath this has breathed into my lungs, it’s a challenge to stay focused because I tend to want to do ‘all the things’….the art, the fun, the writing, the friends, the ministry, the coaching, the research and so on. I know a lot of creatives feel this way; can you relate? At the beginning of the year, I wrote about how I’m moving slowly into 2024…but this tension isn’t supporting my slow movement.
I decided it was time to examine this tension and see if I can identify areas for improvement. The practice of a weekly examen1 has been a helpful tool for this.
“I am doing a great work and cannot come down…”
- Nehemiah 6:3
An Eye-Opening Exercise
All of my work in therapy came in handy here and I asked myself, “What is bothering me?”, “How does that make me feel? and “Why is that?”
I started (and was able to pretty much end) with TIME - my frustration around my time. I seem to have this never-ending to-do list, and it is becoming common practice to keep moving task items that I can’t cross off over to the next page. It seems particularly curious because I had intentionally given several things up already with the hopes the sacrifice would create more time for the important work to be done; but it hadn’t. Why is that?
I sat down at my desk and created a new Excel spreadsheet. For the record, Excel reminds me of math, and math reminds me of things I don’t enjoy, and things I don’t enjoy (that I can avoid) I’ve been trying to stay away from lately, but I DO enjoy organization and systems that make life efficient so I pressed on and into the task of examining my time as I laid it all out in little rectangles. (By the way, do you know what kind of learner you are? I am a visual learner so this exercise was extremely helpful to me.)
The chart I created had all of the tasks I do in a day, including the essentials, as well as work/play time, organized into time blocks. This helped me identify my available time for work/play, after factoring in ‘drive times’. Then, I filled in the commitments we have - things like therapy appointments (including my kid’s appointments where I am waiting for them for an hour), coaching, sports, small group, play time, bible study, etc. I subtracted those commitments from the available time for work/play.
On the bottom of the chart, I jotted down other “life” things I do during the week, just to capture them and figure out where to plug them in or subtract from my hours later. These were things like: laundry, grocery and meal planning, helping with homework, errands, unexpected phone calls, other phone calls to friends, checking social media and emails, even thinking!
After I printed this out and penciled those items in, I sat back, stared at the screen, and was amazed that I get anything accomplished. Ha!
It illuminated how precious my minutes are and how important it is for me to stay on track. I went from arbitrarily thinking I had enough time to do the things I wished to accomplish to firmly identifying that I, in fact, don’t.
It completely explained my frustration with my to-do lists and quickly highlighted some obvious findings: a few extra minutes scrolling on Instagram or Facebook is taking away from more important work (I already knew this but this only proves just HOW precious those minutes are), I barely have time for any spontaneous happenings - like having a conversation with a neighbor or bumping into a friend and praying with her, and it also illuminated my need to make the time I do have more efficient. I don’t want to enter into a ‘work/play’ time block and spend 20 minutes in paralyzed-overwhelm mode trying to figure out where to start.
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing. A schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days. It is a scaffolding on which a worker can stand and labor with both hands at sections of time. A schedule is a mock-up of reason and order—willed, faked, and so brought into being; it is a peace and a haven set into the wreck of time; it is a lifeboat on which you find yourself, decades later, still living.”
- Annie Dillard
I have important work to do. You do, too, friend. So, how are you spending your days?
We don’t want to be wasting our precious hours NOT doing the work the Lord wants us to be doing. Abiding in his will and walking in our calling requires that we become good stewards of the time he gives us.
If Your Schedule is Hard to Accept (Like I Feel Mine Is)
Identifying the cause of and affirming my frustrations have given me plenty of opportunities for improving my time management. However, one major area of improvement is my attitude about this schedule the Lord has given me. When I take a look at this visual representation of my available work/play hours, and feel like 80% of my days are not for me, that my time is not mine, I know that is a lie.
It’s for me because my Father knows what we are going through, what we need, and why we are doing these things. He knows where this is heading. It’s for me because isn’t it always the hard, yucky things (aaaaall of the therapy appointments) and places we want to avoid where we need the most refining? And doesn’t avoiding them only lead to stunted growth? God will grow us there eventually - isn’t it better to just get through the growing pains than push them off for later? After all, it’s not my time, anyway, and your time is not yours. It’s all his. And all of those things on the calendar aren’t ‘distractions’ to the work, they are the work.
“The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's 'own,' or 'real' life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life -- the life God is sending one day by day.”
―C.S. Lewis
Praise God for therapists, for healing, for our children, for our time and calendars, for the hard work being done, for our refining….these are the days he planned for us. This is our life.
As I walk in my calling, I’ll take captive the thoughts that I don’t have enough time to complete the work. I trust that if God wanted me to have more time, he would give it to me. I just need to be a good steward with what I do have.
It’s also kind of fun but mostly helpful to envision Jesus being right there with me, in the middle of my mess, in the third row of our SUV as we are running late, again, to basketball or church, in the therapy waiting room sitting beside me in an empty chair. Bending down with us as we sleepily scrub up dog vomit at 11:30 at night. He’s with us in it all.
Including when we are scrolling, scrolling, scrolling…just some fuel for thought.
“Jesus is apt to come, into the very midst of life at its most real and inescapable. Not in a blaze of unearthly light, not in the midst of a sermon, not in the throes of some kind of religious daydream, but . . . at supper time, or walking along a road. This is the element that all the stories about Christ's return to life have in common: Mary waiting at the empty tomb and suddenly turning around to see somebody standing there—someone she thought at first was the gardener; all the disciples except Thomas hiding out in a locked house, and then his coming and standing in the midst; and later, when Thomas was there, his coming again and standing in the midst; Peter taking his boat back after a night at sea, and there on the shore, near a little fire of coals, a familiar figure asking, "Children, have you any fish?"; the two men at Emmaus who knew him in the breaking of the bread. He never approached from on high, but always in the midst, in the midst of people, in the midst of real life and the questions that real life asks.”
- Frederick Buechner
The Project
This is what I've been working on - this is what the Lord has called me to do now and it has been keeping my heart in prayer and my head down in my work. I love when he takes all of our passions and gifts and desires and blesses our pants off!
When I moved to North Carolina, I knew I quickly wanted to be a part of a creative community. When I searched around, I realized there weren’t too many opportunities near me. I already knew I didn’t have time to drive into Raleigh to gather with other creatives so I tried to create the creative community myself. I reached out through our church at the time and asked if anyone wanted to create with me. For a while, we had a sweet little group that met a few times a month and the fellowships was great. Over time, schedules started changing, including mine, and I couldn’t host as many gatherings and very quickly, it was dissolving - again, mostly my own doing because of all of our family’s challenges.
Fast forward to now and our family has landed in a new church. This church values its members’ spiritual gifts and talents so much they have their members take a spiritual gifts test to place them within the congregation to serve and minister where they are best suited and can use their God-given talents and gifts. How cool is that? Of all the churches I’ve been a member of, this is the first to do this.
With the help and guidance of the Lord, I developed the original creative community into a ministry and brought the idea to the Pastor. Now, I’ll be leading this ministry within the church. I’m so excited!
Christian Creative Collective or C3 Ministry - come join us!
Christian Creative Collective, or C3 Ministry, was created for the Christian woman who finds creativity an essential part of her becoming – that is, her coming into the masterpiece God designed her to be - and who desires to do so in community, with like-minded women to walk alongside.
C3 gatherings are made up of a sisterhood of truth and beauty seekers, hope followers, storytellers, and creatives whose lives and artistry have been redeemed by the Gospel of Jesus Christ. As we gather in His name, in a welcoming and safe environment, we are encouraged, and we encourage one another on our spiritual and artistic journeys and can then, pour into our communities from the abundant overflow we have received from Christ.
C3 is for the visual artist, the musician, the poet, the writer, the illustrator, the storyteller, the crafter, the photographer, the songwriter, the dancer, the stage performer, the producer, the quilter, the carpenter, the jewelry maker, the basket weaver, the occasional crafter, the dabbler of many artistic endeavors, the woman who wants to infuse more beauty and art into her life.
The goals of the C3 Ministry’s gatherings:
To glorify God in our art, practice and gatherings
To grow into our creative calling
To gather women who truly care and ask about what our group members are doing creatively
To encourage and inspire one another; to know we are not alone; to support one another outside of group, such as on our social media channels where we share our art/creativity
To be an open, judgment-free space to share ideas, fears, insecurities and doubts as they relate to our creativity or to life
To share beauty with one another
To share our art – poetry, written words, storytelling, visual arts, music, etc. – and know that your community truly cares
To read books and study God’s word as it relates to our calling, creativity and creating for God’s glory
To share creative resources, feedback/critique, and each other’s burdens where appropriate
To share our creative talents with one another through teaching and workshopping
To pray for one another – in our creative endeavors, as well as in all areas of life
To see, hear, and know others the way we wish to be seen, heard and known
To love God and others well through our creativity and creative calling; to understand and use our creative practice as worship
To explore common topics women face and how we can use creativity to address them (suffering well/lament; healing; examining our spiritual disciplines; surrendering control; coming alive into the creative beings we were designed to be; creating as worship)
Each month:
Every other week we will have a Christian/art book study and discuss the book – beginning with Matt Tommey’s ‘Unlocking the Heart of the Artist’
Once a month we will have an optional opportunity to share our art or beauty-found with one another
In between book studies and artist sharing (optional), we will
a. Meet up for “Artist Dates”
b. Explore and discuss relevant topics using scripture as our guide (last bullet above)
c. Engage in creative exercises to ignite our creativity (using Julia Cameron’s ‘The Artist’s Way’ book and ‘The Artist’s Way Workbook’ as a guide)
d. Create together or alongside one another – this can be an open format where anyone can volunteer to lead a ‘workshop’ by sharing their talents with others
Doesn’t this sound dreamy? I can’t wait. If you are local and interested in joining us, let me know!
For Reflection
How do you respond to the following quote:
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” - Annie Dillard
How well are you walking in your calling? Are you being a good steward of the time God has given you for your calling?
Take some time to pray about and record what “distractions” come to your mind when you think about the unpleasant distractions of your day. Now, ask the Lord to illuminate any work he may be trying to complete in you.
Have you been sensing that something needs to go from your life? If this is a nagging feeling that won’t seem to leave you alone, how does that make you feel and why is that?
How did you feel when you read that Jesus is with us when we are scrolling mindlessly on our social media channels?
My Current Book Stack Heading Into February
I love seeing people’s books stacks and always end up putting new ones on my ‘to check out’ list. My husband thinks it’s insanity to be reading several books at once - he’s a one-book-at-a-time kind of guy. I find that reading several at a time is my favorite way to do it. I’d love to hear what you’re reading! Let me know in the comments, or if you’ve loved any of these. This is what I’m reading right now:
My latest ‘Our State’ magazine to learn about all that North Carolina has to offer.
‘The Artist’s Way Workbook’ and book are both in preparation for C3.
The blue spiral book is my community bible study workbook for Samuel, though we are getting ready to move into Ephesians!
‘Curate’ is a lovely home interior book that I’m devouring. I love home interior books.
‘The Flame’ I picked up at the library because the first poem I read hooked me.
My husband and I are doing ‘The Purpose Driven Life’ again before bed.
‘To Bless the Space Between Us’ is on my bedside table and I read a little here and there.
The Spurgeon and C.S. Lewis Psalms books are guiding me with my efforts to write modern day psalms.
‘Unlocking the Heart of the Artist’ is the book study we will do in C3.
‘The Comfort of Crow’s because Margaret Renkl is WONDERFUL!
‘The Lost Art of Reading Nature’s Signs’ I’m reading because I’ll begin teaching again soon and need to get sharpened up.
‘Essays of E.B. White’ - these are a delight!
And Buechner’s ‘Listening to Your Life’ is an oldie but goodie that I keep in my large handbag and read whenever I get a chance.
Not pictured: the One Year Bible reading plan
The 3 arty/creative books: ‘Let There Be Art’, ‘The Art of Aliveness’, and ‘Called to Create’ are books I’ve finished but I’ve been pulling nuggets out of them lately in preparation for C3.
“The examen is a centuries-old practice in the church that invites us to prayerfully reflect on our days in the presence of God. We built a weekly examen page into the planner to give you an opportunity to regularly pause and evaluate your life in the context of seven key areas: spirit, body, mind, relationships, home, work, and resources.
As you complete the examen each week, consider what God might be revealing to you in each of these areas. Notice the celebrations and struggles. Be honest, humble, and forgiving. Open your heart to hear God speak.”
—Jenn Giles Kemper, Sacred Ordinary Days
This was very timely for me to read, even if I'm reading it belatedly. I've heard the first line of that Annie Dillard quote before but not the rest of it. So good! And I've also been thinking about my time lately and how I spend it and it's so good to remember that it's not *my* time at all! Thanks for your words and all the best in your C3 project! Sounds so fun!