Make (more) ugly art

"If the body keeps the score, our art doesn't have to!" and coming soon, let's create and heal together!

This was the challenge I extended: make ugly art.

I asked the ladies gave permission to the ladies in my current Sacred Art Journaling workshop to fill a two page spread with messy, nonsensical marks and strokes. I invited them to use non-conventional tools¹ and colors they don’t prefer, intentionally.

The goals with this invitation were simple:

• focus on the process and not the end result

• enter into a flow of creativity without worrying about any single part of the process

• be mindful and curious about our thoughts and feelings while we are creating our ugly art

Why?

Most of us, at any given time, are holding onto too much, and if our bodies keep the score, our art doesn’t have to². We need a safe place to release. Our art journals could be that place if we are not holding onto the beauty of the pages too tightly. Not everything we create, whether in words or art, needs to be published or for others. I would argue that sometimes, the work we do on our own that’s just for ourselves, may be the more important work. For me, that’s often the place where the Holy Spirit and I wrestle some personal things out. It’s not for anyone else but us. Morning pages are another wonderful example of this place for me, too.

Recently, while at The Guild Conference, a gathering created as ‘soul care for the Christian creative’ (and a ‘paid subscriber only’ post coming soon about all of my takeaways), Zach Winters, musician and poet, said,

“Some of the best singers you’ll never hear because they’re singing to their kids at night…God is more interested in our faithfulness than our visibility.”

If we are showing up to meet him, even in our wrestlings, we are practicing that faithfulness he desires from us. Same with our creativity. If we are using our creativity as a means to support the hard work of healing, and inviting God into that process, that is also faithfulness. God wants us to be healed. He wants us to be whole. And we can be thankful he has created many ways to do that, but we have to show up to the work to do it.

I recently wrote a Substack about healing through intuitive collage art, another great invitation and opportunity to release some of these things our bodies are holding. If you missed it, here it is:

Discovering the hidden messages and truths in our intuitive, creative work

The challenge with making messy or intuitive art is, most of us are wired, meaning we use our logic minds, to make things good and pretty. Our words, our art, our homes and even our thoughts can plague us if they aren’t “good” and tidy sometimes. We’ve gotten so good at trying to keep things ‘good’ we’ve forgotten how to be bad. Haha, just kidding. But not really.

We get good at the things we practice³, and we practice fixing and making things pleasant and comfortable. Some of us live our entire lives working to make everything comfortable because we can’t stand the discomfort of sitting in the messy, painful parts. We go to extreme measures to avoid discomfort. And where does that lead us? Emotionally immature, tense, and constantly striving.

What if we learned to embrace the mess? Friends, in life, the mess is where it’s at. That’s where we grow.

So, I want to invite you to embrace the mess in a low stakes practice that can truly help. Make intentionally ugly art. Think it won’t help you?

Do you have a hard time ‘letting go’? Even when you try to set things down, do you have a hard time not picking them back up? YES, most of us do.

Making intuitive or intentionally ugly art regularly is a real somatic release. However, it’s not as easy as it sounds. We may enter the invitation with good intentions, maybe even a little excitement and a lot of hope. And then, the logic-mind starts screaming at us! Here are a couple of examples and to get my point across I’ve juxtaposed logic mind (thinking) with messy mind (feeling/intuitive):

(Logic mind) “Ugh, this looks awful. Why don’t you grab that pretty blue; that will pretty it up a bit.”

(Messy mind) “I’m feeling these words today (as I grab for some cut-out, found words), (Logic mind) but this doesn’t make sense. I can’t put these together.”

(Messy mind) “Ooh, I wonder what this looks and feels like?” (starts to scribble black all over the page) (Logic mind) “Oh no, I’ve ruined it now. Hmm, what will make it look better?”

If this sounds familiar or not, I have a neat little practice that I invited the ladies in my workshop to do: capture your thoughts and feelings while you are creating this messy art.

First, think about the difference between your thoughts and your feelings.

Before my somatic work, I would answer this question: “How does that make you feel?” with, “I think I’m…” I would literally answer a *feel* question, with a *think* answer. I didn’t even know how to tap into my feelings until I began doing some of the healing work I’ve been doing.

1. So, number one is recognize the difference between thinking and feeling. You may want to use the ol’ trusty feelings wheel! I HIGHLY recommend every creative have one or two of these. Purchase this one if you don’t have one. It comes with two in a pack and they are high quality metal.

2. Next, on a small scrap sheet, or index card like I used, write two headings for two columns: thoughts and feelings.

3. Now, while you are creating, listen and be mindful to the thoughts and feelings you encounter during this experience and jot them down under the appropriate columns. I believe you will be surprised!

If you are wondering why, or what to do with this information, the answer is that it’s simply data. We are collecting data as we begin to get curious about ourselves and our thoughts and feelings. We may not do anything at all with it but I do believe it will be an interesting experience for you. You may discover you were not able to tap into one or the other, or either. You may discover you got more out of this than you had anticipated. You may discover, like me, that you had to work to redirect your creativity toward making messy art because you kept trying to make it better, prettier.

If I could write this prescription for myself it would be make an ugly art page at least once a day, but I know that’s not feasibly for my available time, but it will become a practice I do at least once a week. If you have time, or you know you have a hard time letting go, or you know you desperately need a somatic release, add this little practice into your life more; as often as you can.

I hereby give you permission to make ugly art! Let me know how it goes.

One of my intuitive ‘ugly’ collages: “Her Name is Pain”

Another intuitive ‘ugly’ collage: '“Commotion”

And one last example of my intuitive ‘ugly’ collages. Here you can see that although I only used a few simple pieces and words, it conveys a pretty large emotion.

Coming soon: a new subscription level here on Substack for creative community

As I near the end of my first Sacred Art Journaling workshop, I have been praying about a way to offer this to a more wide-spread audience. And not just the Sacred Art Journaling workshop, but creating together in general. I am excited to announce that I am going to open a new subscription level here on Substack for you to join me and form a creative community where we can all create together! Yay!!!

This subscription level will include live creative workshops where we can create together, subscriber chats, subscriber interviews, and access to the art ministry materials I used for The Sacred Art Journaling workshop and other workshops in the past and in the making. There will be more, but I’m still working out the details and need to be realistic about my time constraints. I can’t wait for us to hang out and create in safe, authentic community. I truly believe creative community heals! I hope to see you there, friends.

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*Some links in this post are affiliate links; if you plan to buy anything from them, please help me with art supplies and providing a free art ministry to my community by purchasing them through my link. Every small bit helps!

1. non conventional tools for print and mark making include things like plastic lids, credit cards to scrape or stamp skinny lines, bubble wrap, anything textured like mesh produce bags

2. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk shows how our bodies hold the trauma we have experienced, thus often leading to other health challenges. I absolutely recommend reading this book.

3. If you’ve read my posts for a while, you will know this is a saying I used with my kids at least once a day. It’s usually followed with, ‘so be careful the things you’re practicing.’